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Jobsworth

Published 04 November 2023

I knew it was too good to last. Being Kerrydale’s housing delivery champion looked like being my cushiest number yet thanks to the housebuilding standstill that means there is no delivery to champion. But trust Liz Reynolds, our strategy director to spot what I was up to.

I tried all the usual tricks: the jacket left on the back of my chair while I slope off to Alfredo’s; the late afternoon site meetings that allow me to stop off at the driving range. I even thought I might get away with working at home on my strategy report. But Ms R seems so wise to them I sometimes wonder if she’s bugging my office. Come to think of it, she’s probably already seen through my ROOF alter ego.

‘What do you think, Neil?’ she says. ‘What should our vision be on this?’ she asks at the end of a long meeting. I’m in Baggott auto-pilot mode, looking as though I’m concentrating on my papers while letting my mind wander to the prospect of a swift half after work.

But instead of admitting I haven’t heard anything anyone’s said for the past half hour I switch to rescue mode.

‘I’m just not sure what the roadmap is for the vision, Liz,’ I say. ‘Have we thought through the process before we unpack it and roll it out?’

If I could high-five myself I’d be doing it now. It’s meaningless tosh but it makes me sound as though I have ‘buy-in’ and I know managers love that stuff. But the minx is smiling and that worries me. What does she know that I don’t?

She pauses a few seconds before giving me the answer. ‘I couldn’t have put it better myself, Neil, it’s good of you to agree to expand your champion brief,’ she says, gathering up her papers. ‘I’ll look forward to your thoughts. On my desk on Monday, please.’

And that’s why I’m still here at 7.15. Core strategies are all about having a vision apparently. The prospect of my vision – the snug at the Red Lion – being realised is rapidly receding into the distance.

Neil Baggott, FHTPS

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